The past few days, my heart has been burdened, and I have been waking up and praying in the wee hours of the night, and throughout the day. . . It is not always that I devote myself to such passionate prayer with purpose. I do speak with God, much of the day, every day, but more in the manner of conversationally speaking to my beloved best friend, rather than in focused and fevered intercessory prayer.
I find fault in myself for not devoting more time to intercession. The needs are huge. There is an overflowing need in our world for God to act. . . heal, restore, reveal Himself. . . No shortage of topics for us to pray for. . . It dawns upon me, that it is not lack of discipline and strength of will within me, but lack of hunger. . . lack of heart. For now I have found a purpose, I find no lack of intercessory energy and dedication.
The dramatic on camera murder today well illustrates this. A day never goes by when there are not many murders, but the drama of this one, recorded in act for all to see, if they so choose. . . (I did not so choose) . . . but the drama of this raises within us an emotional response, that merely reading a headline does not inspire within us. This drama, because we connect with the event has touched many hearts, which would have remained cold, without an eye into the event.
Does this mean that any murder is less deserving than any other of our concern? No, but unless we have a personal connections, everything else being equal, we are insulated, and hardened by the sheer numbers of such events we experience over our lives. . .
Note the following:
. . . and note the contrasted warning of this:
Prayer without passion. . . without fervency. . . without true heart behind it is vain. . . a worthless exercise. It is not the hours of prayer. . . but the tears, and anguish. . . the depth of feeling behind the prayers which gives it potency.
It is not the discipline to force myself into my prayer closet which I lack. That lack is a symptom, not a cause. It is within my heart where the flaw lies. . . my numbness. . . the thick callouses which insulate me from caring are the source of my failure of intercession. Give me a prayer task close to home, and I have energy enough. . .
Lord help me love more. . .
Lord help me to care more. . .
Lord. . . please help my heart to be dis-eased. . .